Typing from my phone. Today has been so weird for me. Maybe it's because it really hit home how alone I feel right now. I have lots of friend and family that would come spend time with me but at the same time I don't want company. I want to wallow in my misery but scream from being bored and alone. I know eventually this feeling will go away but when? When will I feel like me again?
My soon to be ex husband and I decided to split up. He moved out, just up and left after saying he'd stay to help with the bills until I could find a roommate. Thankfully I found someone who will be moving in at the end of the month. But I'm still alone till then and it is a strange feeling. I haven't really been alone without roommate or relationship in years. Maybe when I first moved to Hilton head but that was 12 years ago. I slowly feel as if I am descending into a state of crazy or as my mom says I'm being manic.
So what if I am being a little manic? After all it's just another manic Monday. I miss so much that I used to do, I am finally healthy enough to do things again and feel like I am probably going into remission with MG (which is awesome) but now I want to do things. I want to travel and see old friends if mine, what do I do? Do I ignore my feelings? Shove them into a ball of nothingness and ignore them? Or do I go out and do something that makes ME happy? I am so tired of the same old same old. I hated last year, I don't want to hate this year to. What's a girl to do?
Decisions, decisions, decisions....
Till next time
T.
1 hour ago
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