Hello darkness my old friend....
I am looking back on this year, and I don't know if I should feel lucky to be alive and for the most part sane or if I should just give up and stop fighting, because lets be honest... who really cares, oh there are those who do, my family and the few friends I have, but other than that what do I have other than the never ending anxiety and fear that I will lose them too. Everything I have been though this year has been tragic and traumatic. I am tired of the up and down roller coaster I am on, I just want to feel normal again, and I honestly don't think that is going to happen....
My heart aches, I miss my friend I lost this year, who I loved like family. I miss myself how I used to be, where I was for the most part happy, and instead I have an empty hole in me and although I have attempted to fill it with distractions, eventually the distraction is just that and the empty hole is still there. More than anything I miss working with my family, amid all the fighting and lean months and crazy weeks were we worked non-stop, I miss it.
I want to scream and never stop.....
2 hours ago
2 comments:
I'm sorry - I came by from Jana's Sunday linky and wanted to read this and offer up my condolences on your loss of your friend, and so much.
Sometimes a good scream into a pillow helps.
Andrea I can't express how the condolences of a perfect stranger actually brightens my day. Thank you.
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