What the Blog

By iTeresa

Today I feel like I have all these strings attached to me.  They are once again pulling me in different directions, there are strings around my hands, my legs, and of course around my neck.  I metaphorically being drawn and quartered....  

I have my family on one side, friends on another, work is in there too... Decisions decisions, what to do, what to decide?  I am moving this weekend, I am in a rock and a hard place with a waterfall trying to drown me...

I love my job, I am exhausted, I got a promotion, today is the end of day 7 of 9 in a row, then I will have one day off and then will work the next 12 days in a row...This is because of the promotion and me being stubborn and not wanting to give up my overtime on the weekends, its all good, I can handle it.

Moving is a great thing, my sister gets her garage & room back to start preparing for baby number two.  I am so happy for her I could burst.  I'm moving in with my friend Deb in a cute little mastercraft style house from the 1920s, its yellow with a red door, I love it, and shes Italian, and snarky and a complete nerd and it will be great.

Ahhh but once again, the other shoe dropped with my personal life.  I knew it was too good to be true and it was.  Now I am in flight or fight mode.  I need to talk to you Andrea, can you hear me? Do you know I am talking to you, do you still hear me on the plane your in?  I am in so much pain on the inside, and all I get when I talk about it is that I have to stop thinking about you, so I stopped talking about you to my family, because they don't understand.  I need your advice, I need your snarkyness, I need you to answer me someway, somehow, reach out, you were the puppet master and you still are.  I feel you around me all the time, I feel like I should just be able to reach out and touch you, but when I do your not there.  I can handle anything but this losing you, its so fucking unfair!  Remember our pact? I was supposed to move to FL if it didn't work out with me and Jason, and it didn't and then you were gone, it was too late, I should have just moved down there like we kept talking about, and I will regret to the day that I die that I didn't.  I lost months of time with you because I just couldn't take that plunge and walk away again and move from TN.

This is one of those rambling blogs, so I apologize in advance.  I also found out in the past week that my grandmother has breast cancer.  I feel numb and hurt again, this is too close too soon since you Andrea, please talk to God, the Goddess, Allah, and everyone in between and tell them I am begging them for it to be not bad, that shes going to be Ok, I don't know if I lose the both of you in a year.

I'm hurting.

Till Next Time
T.

2 comments:

The puppet master will do what she can!!! Hugs my love <3
I'm no Andrea but I love you lots. I feel the same way still too. No way in hell would she have allowed some of the BS that's happened lately!!! She knows something we don't I guess. I picture her all giddy and silly watching her plots unfold. Some things are too funny for words ya know.
I'm waiting for the hurt to stop.
I'm so glad the puppet master put us both on "the train" together, LMFAO! At least we have each other.
Cue sappy music....

Seriously though. I truly am hoping for good news for grandma. Things MUST get better. For all of us.

Your one of the few who make me feel better :) Love you like crazy girl, if it gets any worse I will officially know that we are truly living in hell and that we did something really bad in our past lives, lol.

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Hello all and welcome to What the Blog! I am Teresa, or iTeresa, due to the many i products that I have. I blog for one reason, because something happened that I feel should be shared with the world, so go ahead, laugh, giggle, cry, &; scream at the insanity of my life, because once its all said and done...What the Blog!

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