What the Blog

By iTeresa

My Personal Hell
Current mood: neglected

Well it is officially one of those days again, and well I seriously thought we were doing better, but I guess not. What happened to my funny blogging days? What happened to carefree happiness spent at the beach with my Tina & Kallay? What happened to hot humid drunken nights & breaking into the pools? What happened to impromptu trips to Savannah because Karrisa drove into town for the weekend, or the short 5 hour drive to go to Tampa? Oh yeah, I moved back to Tennessee. Now don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have Kelsey, whom I love like there is no tomorrow, I am grateful to have Karrisa, that crazy redhead that calls me her friend and is always there for me, NO MATTER how insane the situation is, I am grateful to have the opportunity to see my family whenever I want now, and grateful that my friendship with Tina is still strong & the one with Kallay, amazingly has survived, I am grateful for my new puppy and my sweet kitties, but I am SO SO SO tired.

I am tired of excuses, I am tired of "it will be complete tomorrow", and I am tired of being the favorite this week and being the outsider the next week. I am tired of missed deadlines, people refusing to pay for work that was done on time, and early mornings with late nights and no sleep in between. I am tired that I have not had a day off in I don't know how long, I am tired of it all, and most importantly, I am tired of being tired.

I hear a song, I see something pretty, and all I want to do is cry. Today is one of those days, I just want to lie down and go to sleep and never wake up. But I can't. I have to be strong, I have to stay strong, or so everyone says. But why can't I just be me for one day? Why can't I just have one simple small day with peace? No work, No news, No politics, No drama, No crying, No sadness? I used to be different, and I feel myself slipping into that abyss of darkness where anxiety and depression surround me as it once did before, years ago, that I fought so hard to shut out, to put in a box and stick it on the shelf of no mores and forget about and let collect dust.

But now I am back in TN and apparently so is that awful box……

Fucking A.

0 comments:

About Me

My photo
Hello all and welcome to What the Blog! I am Teresa, or iTeresa, due to the many i products that I have. I blog for one reason, because something happened that I feel should be shared with the world, so go ahead, laugh, giggle, cry, &; scream at the insanity of my life, because once its all said and done...What the Blog!
Photobucket

Blog Archive