Its about that time......
Current mood: 
contemplative
Category: Life
So I am quitting in 5 days. Yuck. Not really though, its just that I am terrified of giving up a habit I have had for so long. I am scared that I am going to gain weight, that I am going to crack under pressure, or buy a pack at the bar that I am hanging with my friends at. My oldest, dearest, best friend Karrisa and I discussed this stuff yesterday and let me know that for years after she quit smoking she still smoked when she drank, until she realized one day that she looked forward to going out and drinking for the sole purpose of being able to socially smoke. She only smokes cigars now when she drinks and not much of them at that. So in essence she did quit smoking cigarettes, but ocassionaly enjoys a cigar with a drink. I want to be able to walk away from it all, competely. But at the same time I like to smoke, I smoke not only because I am addicted to it, but actually enjoy it (but maybe I only enjoy it cause I am addicted to it). It is a bit of crazy confusion for me. But I am on the path to being a non smoker and am happy about it, for the simple reason that I have been smoking for 13 years and smoke close to two packs a day now, diguisting isn't it??? Well onward with my journey I go....
Peace.
T.
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