So there is one day a year I will attempt to avoid at all cost, well actually every woman I know avoids as much as possible this one day a year.....Yep you guessed it, its what i commonly refer to as swoop & scoop (Kudos to Kallay for this great saying) and known to the masses as your pap smear.
And really, why the heck is it called a pap smear???? That sounds SOOOO grody, its not even funny. Just the words "pap smear" sends a chill down my back, and every year I try and think of a reason as to why I really don't "need" to have this very quick, slightly uncomfortable, procedure done and it always comes back to the same reason for me......
I will be cut off of my all important birth control without the swoop & scoop, so year after year I schedule my dreaded appointment, show up at the correct time for this small torture and happily walk away with a years worth of birth control pills. But all did not go according to plan this year, it all started to go downhill about a month before my appointment.....
Let me explain, last year I was in between jobs when it was time for my annual, so I did what any broke chick does, I called the county womens health clinic, scheduled my appt, and got my swoop & scoop for 20% of the regular cost due to my lack of funds and walked away with an entire years supply of bc pills, fine by me and all that easy peasy stuff. Well this year, I decided that since I don't have insurance (will have to explain this in another blog), I would just go back to the county womens health clinic even though it would be more than last year because of my income, at least they would have all my records on file and set an appointment for the 22nd of Oct with the West clinic so I wouldn't have to drive 20 miles to the North location that I went to the year before. I of course get a phone call on the 9th asking if I can reschedule due to the fact of H1N1 vaccination overflow with the heath clinics and we reschedule for a week earlier to the 16th of Oct, to which I get a phone call the day before to reschedule yet again to the 6th of Nov, again this is all do to H1N1 vaccinations needing to be done......
So today is the day, my appt is supposed to be at 8am and I have not had anyone call/write/email/fax me to reschedule, and thank God, I have less than a week supply of birth control left. Its my only day off in about 10 days, my only day off in a sea of days and I don't get to sleep in cause I have to be at the doc by 8am, I show up at 7:50am to be told that there is no doc there because they are only doing vaccinations out of this location and if I want to have my "pap smear" today, I have to drive to the main clinic downtown. What the fuck.........seriously, why didnt I get a fucking phone call, I could have fucking slept in today, but oh fucking no, because of some stupid flu that I who work with the general public day in and day out and have had no vaccine and am still not sick, cannot get one simple 10 minute procedure done, because of all this bullshit hype about pig flu, what a crock of shit.......
I basically told the woman behind the desk that they have crappy service and to go eff herself in my sarcastic way which sounds semi courteous until you think of it and then realize I really just told you to go eff yourself....I swung by planned parenthood, because I am fucking bound and determined to get this shit done today, I have been rescheduled too many fucking times and have rearranged my work schedule too many times for this shit, I'm in retail, I cannot ask for days off during Nov & Dec, I need to be available for work, no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. Can I just say Planned Parenthood, your fucking ripoffs..........300 for a pap smear and that doesnt include birth control, what the fuck are you thinking, is this what you do, poor people dont pay, and someone who makes more than 10 an hour pay 300 bucks for 10 minutes of time with a fucking RN, not even a medical doc??? Yeah eff you too, whores!
Went home, picked up that yellow book thats been sitting on the door step for 2 weeks, flip it to the GYN section, started calling around, picked a doc, that had an appt available for today, and guess what, ya it was 200 bucks, BUT, I only had to pay 1/2 today, and can pay the other 1/2 next payday and I got 3 months of samples so I dont have to pay extra for the birth control, and the doctor, Dr. Brown, was super nice and amazingly very comfortable to be around, since to me its one of the most invasive type of things to have to do every year. So kudos to you Dr. Brown, knox county womens clinic shame on you for being shitty with your appointments, and Planned Parenthood, whats the point of your mission to help people when its less expensive to go to a regular fulled priced OBGYN that includes the actual birth control????
Afterwards, I went to Wallyworld with my mom, got two new tshirts, will have to take pics of them to post on here, they are freaking awesome :)
Peace Out
T.
1 comments:
The Cure For a Crappy (or any) Day:
Prepare your relaxing vice of choice. Seat your self in front of your computer. Pull up T's blog and just laff yer butt off.
Thanx, T. You rule :)
coby
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