What the Blog

You know I have an issue with locking myself out of things, so a couple of years ago I stopped locking doors after an unfortunate experience with a broken window & stitches after yet another time of locking myself out when I lived in California. I have luckily survived with no break-ins or stolen items from both my cars & apartments in the 5 years of not locking doors, which amazes everyone I know.

The question I am constantly asked by family members & friends, is aren't you worried someone is going to break in? Um not really, the reason why is cause you can't break in if the door is unlocked, but you can walk in, the other reason, anyone who wants to battle my stairs of hell at the last two apartments (both 3 flights up with no elevators) to steal my cheap shit, go for it, that's what renters insurance is for, plus let them attempt to get out of all the gates, I really don't think anyone wants to go through that shit.

As everyone is aware, Kallay & I have recently moved into a new apartment, which is actually the top floor of a 100 year old house/mansion, so to get in you have to go through the "locked" security door & into the foyer & up the most narrow staircase in history & into the front door of the apartment. Both of these doors auto lock as soon as you shut them.....enter my most recent dilemma....

Um ya, the photos below show what I just glanced over at and Kallay removing the remaining stuffing out of "Baby" so that the shell can still be played with (no one likes fuzzy poo & having to pick it up....)


Let me continue with the real story though, just had to toss these in......

Anyways, so my dilemma is the fact that the doors auto lock and I of course have a nasty habit of locking myself out, but maybe things are different, it has been 5 years since all that locking myself out of things business.

I was wrong, its been exactly 7 days since we moved into this apartment/house.....I have managed to lock myself out 2 times, the landlord locked me out once, and Kallay locked us out again tonight. Yep, that's a total of 4 times of being locked out in a measly 7 days. Ok so let me give you the break down, on Monday I go outside to talk to Kallay & Doug the cable guy, shutting the door as I pop down the stairs and a thought crosses my mind.....Fuck...."Kallay", I slightly scream, "do you have your keys with you????", she laughs a little to herself as she says no, don't you and I inform her I locked us out of the apartment. Do you have your phone is my next question, quickly followed by and cigarettes cause mine are locked in the apartment as well. She had her phone and calls the maintenance guys, who come over in 10 minutes flat and then hands me smoky treats and shares her coffee happily with me. We are quickly back in the apartment and I say we need to hide the extra keys somewhere.......

Round Two: Happened last night as I say to Kallay I have to run to my truck for (insert forgotten item here, I have no idea what it was now). I for some reason locked my truck and did not grab my keys as I slammed the door behind me, quickly realizing I cannot get into either my truck or the apartment, this time though Kallay was inside the apartment and all I had to do was scream under the door for her to let me in, problem quickly resolved and I retrieved whatever it was that I needed out of my truck. I am not sure why I locked my truck, but it could be the fact that my truck has one of those nifty beep beeps, what everyone else in the world calls "keyless entry" and I have an insane complusion to push buttons that could be the reasoning behind locking that door.

Third times a charm, or so they say.....Today I had some errands to run, I went to JC Pennys, and then to Transmission World, onto McKays, and back to the apartment, where I find that the all the time "locked" security door is open and the interior door of the house (to which no aparently has a key to) is shut and happy locked. I contemplate how I am supposed to get in as I leave an assholish message on my landlords line because he is of course NOT answering his phone during regular business hours. Next I call his secretary Sheryl and tell her I am locked out of a door I have no key for, she says she will call John and quickly hangs up, a moment later she calls me back with the instructions, the one pane of glass is missing next to the door and you can reach in and turn the lock, huh??? This seems slighlty unsafe to be living in a house where there is a pane of glass missing from that you can unlock the interior door by reaching your hand through, yes I know this is coming from the girl who does not lock doors, but missing window panes is different from knowingly leaving a door unlocked. It works and I quickly shut the security door and pop on into the house and all is well.

Damnit if third time is a charm, what is fourth considered? I took Bella out tonight & Kallay followed with Hercules, as I am talking to my downstairs neighbor about where the breaker box is (stupid dryer won't turn on, I think I blew a fuse somewhere), Kallay puts the dogs back upstairs, and comes bounding downstairs, realizing her mistake quickly. We are once again locked out, this is getting old....neither one of us have our phones, or important numbers, I ask my neighbor to use his and quickly call my boyfriend to see if he can come over with his set of spare keys to which he replies, Clair is at a church function and I am watching Woodrow, but Jerry is here too and I can come over if you need me, at which point my neighbor says he can probably get in through the open window (by climbing onto the roof from his porch), I quickly tell Kelsey I will call him back if we can't get in. Assuming that it will be our neighbor is going to be the one climbing onto the roof, I am surprised when it is his roommates girlfriend who pops over the side of the porch roof and into our window, we are quickly let in and estatic that a girl neither of us knows was down to break into our apartment we were locked out of when neither of us would ever contemplate climbing onto a roof to get back in via window. She is definalty in the cool book and hopefully we can hang out with her sometime and become friends.

Anyways, we have yet to go downstairs & hide the spare keys (I lost my wallet in the process of this blog and was pre-occupied attempting to find it, thankfully Kallay found it for me) but hopefully I will get around to it tonight.

Good night for now,

T.